October 17, 2018

Narcissism: How much do you know about this deadly personality disorder?

Chances are that you’ve heard about this debilitating personality disorder that is seriously ravaging societies and wrecking lives without mercy.

I have seen ladies lamenting about how mean their boyfriends are, but ironically, the same ladies will remain with the mean boyfriend. All the time they will be hoping that he will change someday and become prince charming he once was when they met and during the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Also, I’ve equally seen husbands suffer untold abuses in the hands of their wives and yet, they will look for anything to put the blame on and exonerate such abusive women.

Millions of people across the world today are suffering in the hands of Narcissists both men, women and children as well.

Narcissism got its name from the Greek mythology of a certain Narcissus who loved only himself till death. NPD is a lifelong mental ailment, incurable and the sufferers tend to get worse as they age. A very scary and hopeless verdict if you ask me. Narcissists are universally known to be very selfish, mien, violent and manipulative while exploiting those that are unfortunate to be entrapped in their charm.

Any relationship with a Narcissist is very predictable, at least to those who are experienced about it because they all take the same course more often than not. At first, when a Narcissist falls in LUST with you, he or she will first engage in what is termed love bombardment whereby they will shower you with so much love, care and attention and even mirror themselves to match your ideal man/woman. This is the euphoric stage and at this moment you could swear on your precious mother’s grave that nothing could ever separate you from the love of your life.

Poor you, but why should anyone blame you for making such hasty decision when you’ve never been happier than you are right now since you were born! Unbeknownst to you, the Narcissist is setting up the stage for the next phase that is bound to take you unawares. This phase is called the deterioration stage. Remember that in every normal relationship, the two partners are meant to support and complement each other, but in a relationship involving a Narcissist, the union will serve the interest of one partner—that of the Narcissist.

Being the smart con artist they are, they could read your emotions like the lines on their palm and your weakness becomes a great asset for them to exploit and manipulate. While you’re still basking in your utopia and singing till death do us part lullaby, they will unleash multiple attacks, mild at first but will be intensified along the line and all daggers will be aimed straight at your soul. At first, you will be taken unawares and you will immediately look for anything to put the blame on, or even yourself and then make excuses for the Narcissists bad behaviour.

Now that you’ve gotten to this point of no return in your misery, everything goes downhill fast and you will continue to be on the defensive while the Narcissist continues to unleash waves of virulent attacks aimed at your soul. They will continue to draw from the pool of your fears, weakness, anxiety and even outright violence against you to completely subdue you.

Then comes that last stage where you see ladies clinging desperately at the men that frequently gives them a black eye, you see men going on their knees and begging to be loved. By now, your heart would have been yanked out, smashed to the ground and crushed to smithereens.

Two things are bound to happen here, it’s either you save yourself with the help of family and friends and escape from the suicidal snare of the Narcissist or continue to endure perennial humiliation until they decide you’re now too miserable to be a good source of supply and discard you like a piece of trash and move on to the next victim, leaving you for dead.

You will end up a shadow of your old self; a shrivelling mess without any iota of dignity left.

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